Sheet

My 2-year-old now says “shit.” She was playing with my cell phone, and she said, “Shit. I forgot.” And in case I wanted to delude myself into thinking she said, “sheep,” or “ship,” she then said, “Shit. Oh shit.”
At the time the kids were having dinner. It was kids choice: they chose oatmeal, Mac n’cheese and smoothies. Neale had smoothie-infused mac n’cheese.
It’s bad enough that Neale and Nico both say “Damage” as a curse word. The intent is there – they think they’re saying dammit, just like, oh, mom, for example. But they say “damage,” which I don’t correct, because for one thing it’s a perfectly acceptable word, and for another thing, they might as well learn now how to use obscenities in an inoffensive way. Which does not include saying “shit,” particularly when you’re two and rarely wear pants.
Now I can’t really blame Neale for saying shit, since she’s not had a great day. Nico made her a breakfast of Cheez-Its and raisins but he ate all the Cheez-Its and she doesn’t like raisins. Then I let her sit in an ant pile, and continued chatting away even as Neale began screaming because I thought maybe she was just getting tired.
So Neale got about a 100 ant bites (that’s conservative, by the way), a trip to the doctor and a lot of Benadryl, which made her cranky and led to her passing out in her mother’s bed and waking up when she peed in said bed. She did manage to pee on Dear Husband’s side, though, and Dear Husband never notices those things.
In addition, Nico bopped Neale on the head at least five times today, including once with a wooden flute.
If I was Neale, I would be saying worse things than shit. But still….it’s not cool, and I know that, and obviously I now know that I’ve got to work harder to clean up my fucking language.
I am thinking of reviving some oldies but goodies, like Jeez Louise!,, Durnit!, and my personal favorite, used by my grandfather, Got Doggit! But it will take time.
At any rate, if you happen to be hanging out with me and hear my daughter cursing, just smile at her and say, “Wow! You see a ship?”